Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Love Her Well

~ I received no compensation and opinions are 100% my own or my family. ~

Synopsis:  Moms are eager for tips and wisdom to help them build strong relationships with their daughters, and Kari Kampakis’s Love Her Well gives them ten practical ways to do so, not by changing their daughters but by changing their own thoughts, actions, and mind-set.
For many women, having a baby girl is a dream come true. Yet as girls grow up, the narrative of innocence and joy changes to gloom and doom as moms are told, “Just wait until she’s a teenager!” and handed a disheartening script that treats a teenage girl’s final years at home as solely a season to survive.
Author and blogger Kari Kampakis suggests it’s time to change the narrative and mind-set that lead moms to parent teen girls with a spirit of defeat, not strength. By improving the foundation, habits, and dynamics of the relationship, mothers can connect with their teen daughters and earn a voice in their lives that allows moms to offer guidance, love, wisdom, and emotional support.
As a mom of four daughters (three of whom are teenagers), Kari has learned the hard way that as girls grow up, mothers must grow up too. In Love Her Well, Kari shares ten ways that moms can better connect with their daughters in a challenging season, including:
  • choosing their words and timing carefully,
  • listening and empathizing with her teen’s world,
  • seeing the good and loving her for who she is,
  • taking care of themselves and having a support system, and more.
This book isn’t a guide to help mothers “fix” their daughters or make them behave. Rather, it’s about a mom’s journey, doing the heart work and legwork necessary to love a teenager while still being a strong, steady parent. Kari explores how every relationship consists of two imperfect sinners, and teenagers gain more respect for their parents when they admit (and learn from) their mistakes, apologize, listen, give grace, and try to understand their teens’ point of view. Yes, teenagers need rules and consequences, but without a connected relationship, parents may never gain a significant voice in their lives or be a safe place they long to return to.
By admitting her personal failures and prideful mistakes that have hurt her relationships with her teenage daughters, Kari gives mothers hope and reminds them all things are possible through God. By leaning on him, mothers gain the wisdom, guidance, protection, and clarity they need to grow strong.

One (or more) Sentence Summary:  I loved this book, Love Her Well.  I have twin teen daughters and the book served as a great reminder of what is truly important, especially during the teen years.  The author got my heart hooked in her first sentence.  During her prelaunch of the book, her own mother passed away. We see Kari's raw side and how much Love Her Well means to her right from the start.

Each chapter is full of Kari's own experiences/examples, great advice (from Kari and others based on her research), and reflection questions.  The reflection questions were my favorite.    Some of the chapters that really hit home for me were 1. Choose your words (and timing) carefully; 4. Make your relationship a priority; 8. Enjoy her, laugh often, and have fun; and, 9. Take care of yourself and have a support system for hard days.

I seem to blurt out things and use words that I don't mean to be hurtful but have come to realize they most certainly can be, especially to a teen girl.  This chapter reminded me to vent to someone safe, before taking it out my twins.  I work a lot of hours, much more than my husband, and always have.  A sixty-hour week is a good week, if you know what I mean. My three kids are extremely close in age (well two are twins) and have always been very active. I find when I am stressed for time and trying to juggle everything (I refuse to miss events-unless they are at the same time, which my husband and I will divide and conquer) I become very short-sighted and snappish. Chapter 4 has provided me with a lot of homework with those reflection questions!  All good though.

Chapter 8 goes along with Chapter 4 - make relationships a priority and enjoy them....have fun, laugh.  I find once the "road trip" to whatever event I am rushing to gets underway, I tend to relax and my twins and I start to work on enjoying each other's company and creating new memories.  We often spend this time discussing our day (or week) and remember other trips and moments.  They often lead to laughing fits (not good when driving).  There will always be work to do, like with anything worth having.  

Chapter 9 really spoke to me.  I have recently really grasped the concept that isn't new.....take care of yourself so you can take care of others.  I recently started seeing a spine/wellness doctor and I had no idea how much I was hurting.  After eight weeks I feel amazing.  Now on to phase two - start exercising.  I need to remember - its okay to take care of myself and that requires time away from other things.  I will be a better person, mother, wife, and employee if I take care of myself first. 

This is a book that I will refer to through the teen years as the needs of my twin teens changes faster than I could change their diapers!  It is whirlwind of a ride and one that I wouldn't trade for the world.  Love Her Well will help make the rollercoaster a little smoother. Very well written, very practical with great thought provoking questions.


Monday, August 10th: @lyon.brit.andthebookshelf
Tuesday, August 11th: @theocbookgirl
Thursday, August 13th: @meetmeinthestacks
Friday, August 14th: @thereadingroom444
Monday, August 17th: @mom_loves_reading
Wednesday, August 19th: @wellreadtraveler
Thursday, August 20th: @bluntscissorsbookreviews
TBD: Thursday, August 13th: @thepagesinbetween


Tuesday, August 11th: The OC Book Girl
Thursday, August 13th: The Pages In-Between
Monday, August 17th: Mom Loves Reading
Monday, August 17th: @coffeekidslife
Tuesday, August 18th: Stranded in Chaos
Wednesday, August 19th: Well Read Traveler
Monday, August 24th: From the TBR Pile
Tuesday, August 25th: @sjthroughthelookingglass
Wednesday, August 26th: Seaside Book Nook
Thursday, August 27th: @so_chaotic
Friday, August 28th: Bookworm for Kids
Monday, August 31st: Openly Bookish
Tuesday, September 1st: @basicbookmomma
Wednesday, September 2nd: Nurse Bookie and @nurse_bookie
Thursday, September 3rd: The Bookish Ramblings of Bookmama789! and @bookmama789
TBD: Thursday, August 20th: Blunt Scissors Book Reviews

Kari Kampakis is a mom of four daughters who writes about everyday events and significant moments that reveal God’s movement in our lives. She loves girls and believes many world problems can be solved by music, dancing, and deep conversations with friends.
Kari’s work has been featured on The Huffington Post, The TODAY Show, EWTN, Yahoo! News, The Eric Metaxas Show, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Ann Voskamp’s blog, Hands Free Mama, and other national outlets. Her two books for teen girls, 10 ULTIMATE TRUTHS GIRLS SHOULD KNOW and LIKED: WHOSE APPROVAL ARE YOU LIVING FOR?, have been used widely across the U.S. for small group studies.

Purchase Links

Amazon | Books-A-Million | Barnes & Noble

Connect with Kari

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

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